Little Joys...

In this journey of life, when we are in the rat race for achieving something big, we ignore and forget to appreciate the small things which bring smile on our lips. Why do we always forget the fact that the happiness is not always in achieving the big things in life, but it also lies in enjoying those simple moments which give us the feeling of joy. We have so many countless complaints that God did not grant us the wish we desired but we never be grateful to God for those awesome small things that he has given us and made our life so beautiful.  

So, my this blog is dedicated to some of those small moments that gives me the joy of happiness. So in which small moments does the happiness lies? Lets check out few of them ;-)

Happiness lies when the first rain drops of the first rain falls on my face and I feel it with closed eyes and open arms.

Happiness lies when I sit at the window seat while travelling listening to my favorite songs and the naughty breeze tickles me by playing with my untied hairs.

Happiness lies when a small cute stranger kid smiles looking at me and tries to touch me as if it knows me from years together.

And OMG, how can I stop that wide smile spreading my face when i see my closest once name blinking on my cell phone.

Well, happiness also lies when I start getting infinite number of calls at midnight on my birthday and some of the stupid friends of mine talks all the stupid stuffs of the world and hangs the call without wishing me to irritate me. I love you all stupids for doing such crazy things that makes me smile even now when I think of it.

To me happiness lies when I see people's crazy dance on festivals like Ganesh Chaturti and Holi and I feel like joining them and dancing as if nobody is seeing me.

Happiness lies when I realize my friends are listening to a boring song along with me just because its my favorite.

Happiness lies when my friend Surabhi reads every blog of mine with so much of interest even though its pakavu and compliments me for my writing ;-)

Even though if we are in search and struggle for something big, we need to learn to identify these small moments from our life and feel it as much as we can. So readers, just take a small break from your busy life and think about those little moments that gives you joy and start enjoying its feeling to the fullest.

Dark Evening...

Today is one more evening which can be counted among those evening which is more darker than usual. 

But as usual even today I have no idea what is that which is making me feel the depth of the darkness of this evening?

I questioned myself, even though everything was fine the whole day, what went wrong all of a sudden?

Only then I realized everything was fine only until I saw the calender and the date was 04.11.2011. Yes, today I completed two years at my work. But I actually need to be happy after realizing it but no, I am not. Well, there are so many countless reasons for that.

With all these weird thoughts and bad mood I reached home at evening around 7.30. Just entered home and my cell phone started ringing. It was my friend who called me to discuss about the problems she was facing while applying for passport. I gave some suggestions with out even giving her a hint about my bad mind set and she was satisfied with those suggestions and told she will try them and cut the call.

As I got fresh I heard once again my phone ringing. Well, this time it was my another friend who called to tel me his problems of adjusting with his room mate. In fact, his problems has got no end as everyday he call me with a brand new problem of his life. Honestly I had no patience but I tried my best to listen and make him feel better by discussing with him. But, for a moment I was silent which made my friend get hyper on me. This was not new to me as I am aware of his nature that in frustration he often does that. But even than a sentence spontaneously came out of my mouth, "Only you don't have problems in this world, everyone has got their own problems". Oh God, How could I say this to someone? I could make it out by his tone that my statement had hurt him. He could only say, "Sorry I will call you some other time" and cut the call which left me completely with a feeling of a guilt. Everyday I listen to his problems which makes him feel better but why did I become rude to him today? I shouldn't have said that to him. This was the best reason to worsen my mind set more. 

I sent him a message which was like" I am extremely sorry as I was strained due to work and have just reached home, my mind set was not at all good and may be that made me say that to you. I really din't mean it and I never thought I would be rude. I am Sorry".

Got no reply from his end. I wish I could control myself from making that sentence which have hurt him.Well, finally he replied with a message just before posting this blog " Its Okay, You made me realize something today. I do understand. Good Night".

And this is the way this dark evening has come to an end.

Lazy days...

Alarm rings at morning 7.00 AM and I snooze it (thinking Oh! I can sleep for some more time). It again rings at 7.30 AM and I again snoozes it thinking the same. Once again alarm starts ringing at 8.00AM and this time(Oh God! left with no option to snooze it)  manages to get up somehow. Have my shower and breakfast and till I get ready its 9.00AM (Oh No! I ll be late again). I run to the bus stop promising myself that from next morning I'll get up sharp at 7.00AM with the first ring of the alarm. Somehow manages to get into 9.10 AM bus. After getting into bus first thing to do is take out I-pod from my bag and start listening to my song collections and will be lost into my deep thoughts...

What made me change so much? I din't even realize when I turned from a naughty college going girl into boring serious girl.

Where has my cheerfulness lost? 

Things became so advanced that friends remained only in facebook, texts and phone calls. Can the span of two years in an atmosphere without friends change someone so much?

Same people who use to envy me for my bindaas nature are now surprised to see this change in me.

So have I become matured now? If being boring is matured then I would be happy staying immature, childish and crazy for ever.

As these lazy days are passing I am becoming more lazier and irresponsible because of my Mom's pamper. I never realized when I became so dependent on her who was so independent earlier.

Where is that girl lost who was interested in knowing about every new invention? Where is that girl lost who had spirit of struggling and achieving something? 

The girl who loved to freak out on every weekends  now like to stay at home the whole day. 

Where will this lead me?  Will I ever be able to become that cheerful bindaas girl to whom life was so carefree? 

Thinking all these things I reach office by 10.15AM and even today I find no good work to do here.I waste my time on social networking sites and leave my office at 5.30 PM, reach home by  7.00 PM, help mom in cooking for sometime, spend time on my laptop, than watch daily serials and sleep off thinking when are these lazy days going to end. 

Alarm rings at morning 7.00 AM again and I snooze it (thinking Oh! I can sleep for some more time) and this is how one more lazy day starts.

In Memories of My Best Friend Veena...

It was when I was 8 years old. I use to stay along with my Aunt and Grani. My only best friend at that time was Veena. Veena, my Lovely CAT. I don't remember from when she was staying with me. I don't even remember why have I named her as Veena. But, the only thing I know is she was most closest friend of mine.

Every day when I came back from school with my school bag and water bottle it was Veena who came running and welcomed me with her affection.

Whenever I was happy,  it was Veena with whom I shared my happiness and she cherished in my joy.

Whenever I was sad, it was Veena with whom I shared my sadness and  she cried along with me.

Whenever Veena was hurt it would hurt me the most and I wept in her pain.

Veena... I can still remember her soft touch, her warm affection, her trust in me, her silent love, her sweet gesture. My days started wit Veena and ended with Veena. She had silently become my life, my best friend in my loneliness, who knew all the mistakes that I did as a kid.

It was one of the most worsetest night when I wished Veena goodnight and went to my bed. I still remember that morning so clearly when my aunt at around 7.00 am woke me up and said, "Veena is no more". My heart stopped beating for a while. For a moment I thought my aunt was lying to make me get up early. I just looked at my aunt and she told Veena fell in well which was next to my house. I went running to the well to see what has happened but could only helplessly see some people removing her dead body from the well.

What could I do now? I could do nothing other than crying looking at her. We become so helpless when God takes away someone we love. And the most worst part is God only take that person away from us and not the memories, which keep killing us every moment.

I kept crying for days together. I blamed God for taking my Veena away from me. The thought which I had during my childhood that everything I love God takes away from me became more stronger. Even after weeks I kept crying all alone remembering her, hiding my tears from my aunt. After all, this time I dint even had my best friend Veena with whom I use to share my sadness. I started skipping my food and became weak. I guess my aunt was silently observing all this and she told my uncle.

One day when I came back from school my uncle told me that Veena has come back. I cherished with joy and threw my school bag and water bottle and asked where she is? My uncle replied, that she is sitting under the cot. I bent down the cot and saw her starring at me. I lift my hand to touch her but she was scared of me. Then I realized no it was not Veena but some other cat my uncle has brought so that I can forget Veena.

This new cat has best eyes and was very beautiful. My aunt started calling her as Veena but I could not. So, I named her as Sini. I never shared my happiness or sadness with her and she never came running to me when i got back from school. My uncle has brought her in replacement of Veena but she could never take my Veena's place.

Some relationship's are always special and can never be replaced by anyone. Veena will always be that special one till my last breath. MISS YOU VEENA.

The Generation Gap...

A Small Conversation that I had with my Aayi (Grani, Mom's Mom) some years back when I got ready to go out with my friends.

AAYI :  What is that you are wearing?
ME     : My new Jeans and a Sleeveless top.
AAYI  :  But why are you wearing the clothes like a boy wear and where are the hands of your top?
ME     : Oh Aayi, this is the way nowadays most of the girls dress up.
AAYI  :  But I never dressed up like this and nor did your Mom. So from where did you learn
ME     : (In a hurry who had no answers for my Grani's questions with a sarcastic laugh)
             Bye Aayi :-)

Everyone amongst us must have gone through a similar kind a situation. May be with our grand parents or even with our parents. There is so many times when I buy certain dress and my friends love it, but my mom finds the same dress weird. This is the most common thing we all must have come across. The Television shows which we watch and our parents watch are so completely different. The same fight for remote control in everybody's house. And finally its we younger generation who compromises with the TV shows and ends the fight by silently handing over the remote to our parents. Why is that our likes and dislikes vary so much. Is this is what called as  THE GENERATION GAP?

Whenever I liked to do something during my High school days and if I was being restricted by my elder cousins I hated it. I use to think so backward and old fashioned my cousins are. But, now when my younger cousin who is studying in 7th standard wanted to create her Facebook account, I was the first person to restrict her in spite of knowing the fact that most of her classmates already has a FB account. OMG!!! What is wrong with me now???  Well, this restriction is just because of my own experience. I am thinking when I myself am so much addicted to FB then how much will she be, as she is now stepping into her teen age which is the best age to get distracted. Obviously, even she might be thinking the same about me as I am backward and old fashioned as I would think about my elder cousins.

I was allowed to use a cell phone from the time I joined my Graduation college and that too because it was a necessity as I was staying away from home at a hostel. But, now my younger cousin brother is using a cell phone right from the class 8th even after staying at home. He even has a personal computer with internet access. Is this the development in technology or a Generation Gap again?

If this is the case now itself then what will be our kids demand. May be they will demand for a cell phone right from the Kinder Garden. And when I did not allow my cousin to create a FB account, will I allow my kids to use a cell right from their KG class.? Or I will be among those strict sunkey Mother who screws all the freedom of her kids? How will they feel about me when all their other friends will use a cell phone but I would not permit them? Ohh Nooo..... Why am I thinking all this? When I have got so much of freedom from my Mom and when all my wishes have been fulfilled then obviously even my kids wishes also will be. No doubt.

After experiencing all these things the thoughts which I am getting is, the only reason why the elder generation restricts their younger generation is they care for them and so they don't want their younger generation to commit the same mistake as they themselves had once committed. But, it is only after falling one learn to stand. We learn  only after committing mistakes and we have to accept the fact that even our younger generation will learn from their own mistakes and not from our suggestions and restrictions. The more we restrict some one the tendency of that person to break the restriction also increases and its a human nature. So its good to be a friend to the younger generation rather then restricting them for each and everything. I think restriction can only make them hide the mistakes that they commit because of our fear and which may lead them in a wrong path.

The only way to understand both our elder as well as younger generation is that we need to keep our self in their shoes and think how would we react if we were to be in their place. Only then we will realize neither our elders who keeps questioning us are wrong and nor our younger's who keep committing mistakes are wrong. The only differences in all these people is nothing but THE GENERATION GAP..

My Present Job... A Curse Or A Boon???

I always had so many complaints about my present job. May be this was because I had a dream of working in a MNC and not in a Government office. Unfortunately, being a 2009, Computer Science & Engineering passed out it was such a tough time to get placed during the time of recession. But, even during such a tough time when most of my batch mates were struggling to get placed, I luckily got a job so easily which had so many plus points. Plus points like my office was in my hometown, good designation, Mom made food, living at home and of course  a good payment (no private companies were paying so much for a fresher at the time of recession as much as my office offered me). Only a fool would refuse such an offer and I was not the one. So with out a second thought I jumped into it and this is how the story of my first job begins. 

So, now I had stepped into a journey of complete new experience. I started meeting some good people in this journey whom I will never forget in my lifetime and even met many irritating peoples too, whom I can never forget as well ;-P. From these day to day experiences i learnt a new lesson everyday which made me to understand people and life in a more better way. Well, initially I thought that I would have people around me at work place who has got similar thinking as that of mine, but here it was completely different. The most shocking thing for me was is and will always be is that even a highly qualified Officer with so many years of experience have to follow the orders of an illiterate politician who has no knowledge of anything which I hated from the core of my heart. I started hating such rules and regulations which had no sense at all.

So many wrong things keep happening around me everyday and there are none to stop them, as nobody think it is wrong. A very simple example I can give here is usage of Paper. I am very stingy while making use of office paper. I don't usually take printouts unless and until it is very necessary. But, they make fun of my this behavior at office. Even my boss asks me to take printouts of certain things which he wont even give a look and those papers directly go into his dustbin. If I say something regarding this my colleagues give a common comment " GOVERNMENT KA PAISA HAI, TU KYU TENSION LE RAHI HAI". I don't want to argue more with them on this matter because I believe in a policy "Live and Let Live, without interfering in anyone's business". Nor I want to protest against all these things and become a great personality. I am a common girl and happy with what I am. Hmmmm... if I keep on counting the negativities now then it will be a never ending list.

Well, now let me come to the advantages part. The most biggest and beautiful advantage of doing a job here is I got a chance to stay along with my Mom. Mom due to her work responsibilities could not stay with me since my childhood as she had to migrate from one place to other due to the frequent official transfers, she could not even take me along with her as it would effect my academics. So this was the first time in my lifetime, that is after 22 years of my  birth I started staying along with my mom. Its being almost 2 years now. This job has given me a chance to know my mom in more better way. The closeness that we share now was not there when we were not staying together.  I learnt so many good things from her which will be helpful to me throughout my life. Though there are lots of negative points in my job this one advantage puts a shadow over all the negativities.

WHAT EVER HAPPENS IS FOR A GOOD REASON. GOD HAS PRE-WRITTEN EVERYTHING WHAT WE DESERVE AND WHAT WE DON'T. WHEN THERE ARE CERTAIN WRONG THINGS GOING ON IN OUR LIFE WHICH WE NEVER EXPECTED, FOR SURE HE HAS PLANNED OUT ONE RIGHT THING, WHICH IS THE BEST FOR US .

Now when I question myself "My Present Job... A Curse Or A Boon???" My heart spontaneously answers me Yeah!!! It is a boon :-)

Is This The Right Time To Get Committed???

I don't know how to start with as there are so many thoughts striking my mind at the same time. But, all these thoughts ends with the same question.

Is This The Right Time To Get Committed???

I even don't know if I am doing right by sharing these thoughts in a Blog. You must be thinking about which commitment am I thinking so deeply. Obviously, what can be more bigger commitment then getting married. Yeah! Thinking about my marriage. But, it ends with the same question again.

Is This The Right Time To Get Committed???

I being a only daughter have led a life of a Princess. Have always got what ever I have wished. Or I can even say I am being granted with more then that I have wished. But, once I get married will all the things remain same? Well, every girl has this question in her mind pre-marriage. And the answer for this question is 'NO'. Nothing is going to remain same. A new beginning, a new journey, a new life with so many new responsibilities will all of a sudden change my life with this new commitment. I am aware of all this and that is why I have the question.

Is This The Right Time To Get Committed???

Right from the time I realized what marriage is I had a very strong thought that I would definitely go for an arrange marriage. I wanted my Mom to find a match for me. But, my Mom as she has always given me the full freedom to take the major decision's of my life whether it was in choosing my Education Field or it was in choosing my career, she again gave me full permission even to take this important decision of finding a match myself. Only few lucky people get the chance to choose their own life partner with the parents support and I am the one among those lucky people. But, this time I dint want this chance. In fact I wish I could grant this chance to someone who was really in need of it. I wish at least that person  could utilize this chance and make it an opportunity to marry their loved one without any objection from there parents. But in my case this freedom is just a waste due to my interest in an arrange marriage. This interest was because I had a strong belief that arrange marriages are more successful. But, one day while discussing with my friend on this topic just one sentence of my friend changed my complete opinion. The sentence was "Any kinda marriages are successful the only necessity is finding a right partner". How true :-)

Hmmmmm... My Mom is going to take a charge of finding a match for me in the first month of coming year. Well, This is the thing which  I had always dreamed of.  But even when everything is going on according to my wish.. Why is that I am having so many questions still running in my mind? Is it normal to think so much? May be Yes. Might be all girls have same kind a thoughts which I have right now prior to taking such an important decision of life. So many unanswered questions, so many weird thoughts. But all thoughts start with the same question.

Is This The Right Time To Get Committed???