Meeting...

I have penned this down on a paper notepad while I was attending a office Staff Meeting in the meeting hall of my office. I knew I would have no work to do there as there was no such subject related to my concerned section to be discussed but still I had to attend it and get bugged. So to save my self from dozing off I thought I would at least do this holy work ;-)

President and Commissioner of my office have decided to conduct a meeting today but I have nothing to do here. Just sitting idle on the chair looking at the people around me. The people who have spent more than 40+ years here, contributing more than half of their life in serving this office. In this huge time they even lost their hair and developed a big tummy but still everyone are happy with the life they have spent here. They must have joined this place when they were young and enthusiastic but this place has snatched all their charm and now the only thing they have is a dull face with a bald head and a big tummy. This makes me scared of turning like this after some years if I continue working here. "OH GOD PLEASE LISTEN TO ME, I DESPERATELY NEED A CHANGE"

The meeting has started and now I can hear all blah blah in Kannada. This is so nostalgic and I remember the time when I could rarely understand Kannada just couple of years back and people would laugh their ass out if I would try to talk in this language but thankfully these two years have made me not only understand but also to talk and write in Kannada. *My achievement* :-P.

Getting back from this nostalgic journey of learning Kannada language I can see different expression on everybody's face. Some face full of curiosity, some are pretending to write down something on paper, some fiddling with their cell phone, some looking at the wall clock for every few minutes,  some sleepy, some rusted brains are working almost after decade and that too just to think about the fake answers to give if a question regarding their work is been asked and some looking at me to figure out what am I penning down so seriously.

I always wonder why these people around me are so much curious to know everything that I do. Sometimes I feel I have dropped into some other planet where all the aliens around me are keeping an eye on me and sometimes I feel like I am an alien from other planet who is left back here on earth and all the people around me are very keen to observe every moment of mine.

Seeing my terribly bored face one of my colleague sent me a text who was sitting just opposite to me. I opened the message to read and it displayed, " Why this Kolavari Kolavari D?". With the same mood I replied him, "Because D comes after C, so it is Kolavari D" and gave a very artificial smile looking at him. 

Finally the time came for which I was eagerly waiting. Ya it was a tea time. I had a cup of tea and some snacks and the meeting got over. 

This is what happens in a meeting in a Government Office :)

Please spare me if you are bored after reading this as I have written it when I was completely bugged up.

P.S: After reading some good reviews in flipkart.com got a new book to read. "Few things left unsaid". Have finished just few pages but I must say I am really disappointed. Book is not worth reading even once. *tears* :-(

Dark Evening...

Today is one more evening which can be counted among those evening which is more darker than usual. 

But as usual even today I have no idea what is that which is making me feel the depth of the darkness of this evening?

I questioned myself, even though everything was fine the whole day, what went wrong all of a sudden?

Only then I realized everything was fine only until I saw the calender and the date was 04.11.2011. Yes, today I completed two years at my work. But I actually need to be happy after realizing it but no, I am not. Well, there are so many countless reasons for that.

With all these weird thoughts and bad mood I reached home at evening around 7.30. Just entered home and my cell phone started ringing. It was my friend who called me to discuss about the problems she was facing while applying for passport. I gave some suggestions with out even giving her a hint about my bad mind set and she was satisfied with those suggestions and told she will try them and cut the call.

As I got fresh I heard once again my phone ringing. Well, this time it was my another friend who called to tel me his problems of adjusting with his room mate. In fact, his problems has got no end as everyday he call me with a brand new problem of his life. Honestly I had no patience but I tried my best to listen and make him feel better by discussing with him. But, for a moment I was silent which made my friend get hyper on me. This was not new to me as I am aware of his nature that in frustration he often does that. But even than a sentence spontaneously came out of my mouth, "Only you don't have problems in this world, everyone has got their own problems". Oh God, How could I say this to someone? I could make it out by his tone that my statement had hurt him. He could only say, "Sorry I will call you some other time" and cut the call which left me completely with a feeling of a guilt. Everyday I listen to his problems which makes him feel better but why did I become rude to him today? I shouldn't have said that to him. This was the best reason to worsen my mind set more. 

I sent him a message which was like" I am extremely sorry as I was strained due to work and have just reached home, my mind set was not at all good and may be that made me say that to you. I really din't mean it and I never thought I would be rude. I am Sorry".

Got no reply from his end. I wish I could control myself from making that sentence which have hurt him.Well, finally he replied with a message just before posting this blog " Its Okay, You made me realize something today. I do understand. Good Night".

And this is the way this dark evening has come to an end.

Lazy days...

Alarm rings at morning 7.00 AM and I snooze it (thinking Oh! I can sleep for some more time). It again rings at 7.30 AM and I again snoozes it thinking the same. Once again alarm starts ringing at 8.00AM and this time(Oh God! left with no option to snooze it)  manages to get up somehow. Have my shower and breakfast and till I get ready its 9.00AM (Oh No! I ll be late again). I run to the bus stop promising myself that from next morning I'll get up sharp at 7.00AM with the first ring of the alarm. Somehow manages to get into 9.10 AM bus. After getting into bus first thing to do is take out I-pod from my bag and start listening to my song collections and will be lost into my deep thoughts...

What made me change so much? I din't even realize when I turned from a naughty college going girl into boring serious girl.

Where has my cheerfulness lost? 

Things became so advanced that friends remained only in facebook, texts and phone calls. Can the span of two years in an atmosphere without friends change someone so much?

Same people who use to envy me for my bindaas nature are now surprised to see this change in me.

So have I become matured now? If being boring is matured then I would be happy staying immature, childish and crazy for ever.

As these lazy days are passing I am becoming more lazier and irresponsible because of my Mom's pamper. I never realized when I became so dependent on her who was so independent earlier.

Where is that girl lost who was interested in knowing about every new invention? Where is that girl lost who had spirit of struggling and achieving something? 

The girl who loved to freak out on every weekends  now like to stay at home the whole day. 

Where will this lead me?  Will I ever be able to become that cheerful bindaas girl to whom life was so carefree? 

Thinking all these things I reach office by 10.15AM and even today I find no good work to do here.I waste my time on social networking sites and leave my office at 5.30 PM, reach home by  7.00 PM, help mom in cooking for sometime, spend time on my laptop, than watch daily serials and sleep off thinking when are these lazy days going to end. 

Alarm rings at morning 7.00 AM again and I snooze it (thinking Oh! I can sleep for some more time) and this is how one more lazy day starts.