A Dairy of a Girl...

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I had suppressed all of it in my heart for so long. But, for how long could I? If only it was that easy. Today morning I woke up to the unending stack of wishes in the WhatsApp group. No, these wishes were not for me. They were for my friend, Amrita. It was her First Wedding anniversary today. It did hit me hard and pushed me into the cyclone of the memories, churning me upside down, right and left. I had avoided thinking of this day since a long time. I had locked this part of my heart and threw away the keys. But, today it was like someone gained the entry into it, by breaking the walls of my heart, just to scratch this wounded part, so that I could relive that pain all over again. All I could do was helplessly let the silent tears flow down my eyes and do nothing to stop them.

So, its been one year today. One year isn't a long time. Or is it? I remember even now very clearly, how we both had boarded that train to attend Amrita's wedding on this day, an year back. It was that day we both came so close to each other. When I think of that time, even today the smile spreads across my face, only to leave my eyes wet later. I wonder how these beautiful memories turned into a sour one in such a short time. We came so close to each other on this day an year back, and today after one year we are no more than a strangers. I have deleted his mobile number and also he no more exists in my Facebook friend list today. In just one year he has turned from a stranger to someone extremely close and from that close one to the stranger again. One year isn't a long time. Or is it?

When I try to reflect this change in him, I wonder what was it that changed him so much. No. I was not ready then, nor I am ready now. Though I choose to be strong enough today, only I know how that 3 hours train journey and the events that followed later on this day an year back, has taken my life into the dark tunnel of never ending turmoil of emotions. I only wish he could understand. All I can do is to think of him and his memories and Sigh!